Road Chronicles

So, the other night it’s taking me awhile to get to sleep and I hear what sounds very much like a bear growling as it’s walking around outside near the van. I think to myself, “Holy shit. Was that actually a bear, or just my imagination?”

After a few minutes, the growl comes again. At this precise moment, I realize that I also have to start making my way to the bathroom at some point soon.

“Go ‘way, bear! I have to pee and I don’t want to get mauled/eaten on the way to the bathroom!” I groaned quietly to myself.

I held off as long as I could, trying to get to sleep and just wait my bladder out, but my brain started deciding to make me have dreams of having a bucket inside the van that I could use as emergency facilities. Eventually, I had to just get the hell out of the van and make a break for the bathroom.

I opened the doors, looked around, and I couldn’t see the shape of anything that might eat me, so I started the long walk to the big, cold building. (it gets down in the 50’s here at night in summer, apparently) Of course, in my head, the bear is now simply waiting for me in one of the stalls, but at that point I no longer cared. I had my mighty keys with me, and I’d whack the crap out of it, and very likely pee on it as well during a possible attack.

Color me pleasantly surprised when I get there and there’s no bear -and then when I get back outside, no bear. I get back to Matilda, climb inside and snuggle under the covers, glad that my mental ordeal is over.

Ah, the exciting nights I have, camping in bear country. 🙂

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