Tonight as I’m getting on the metro to go home, I can’t help but notice that something is different.
Something is..out of the ordinary.
Oh, right. It’s the fact that there is goose down EVERYWHERE. It’s like a chicken exploded in the train car. I keep looking for the remains of a woefully assaulted pillow or down coat, but there’s nothing but the evidence of implied goosey violence all around us – like fluffy accusing snow of doom. Watching the reactions of various people as they entered the car and noticed the same thing was also entertaining.
Strangely enough, my first thought was, “Wait, they let livestock on the metro now?”
This reminded me of a time back in my teen years when I’m in a volkswagen beetle with a group of friends. We’re all crowded into this car searching for a place to eat. The floorboards had a couple of small holes in them, but for the most part, they were ok. We’re on the inner lane of the beltway heading to our destination when all of the sudden the driver starts yelling at the top of her lungs, “OH MY GOD! OH. MY. GOD!”
We all start yelling, “What?!? WHAT?!?”
It took her a few beats to respond and when she did we were all completely gobsmacked.
“I just ran over an entire family of ducks!”
At this point, we begin to notice that there are little white feathers coming up from the floorboards and circulating throughout the car. We’re all stunned, and feel suitably horrible.
For about two seconds.
Then the entire car bursts into hysterical laughter. Several minutes later, just about the time the laughter has died down, we see this HUGE cloud of feathers in front of us and bust out laughing again. What are the odds of TWO FAMILIES of ducks actually GETTING to the inner lane of an 8 lane highway?
Apparently, just enough to be fucking hilarious.
When we finally got to the restaurant, somebody pointed to the hood which had these smeared greasy looking spatters all across the front and yelled, “LOOK! DUCK SAUCE!”
Which made us all collapse with laughter again.