Today there was a used ‘feminine’ pad in the flowerbed in one of the enormous brick potters outside the door at work. It was crawling with ants. Seeing this item filled me with a strange sense of mystery and suspense. I almost wish I had a camera.

What exactly had occurred in this woman’s life to cause her to jam her soiled item into a pile of flowers in Georgetown where it would be easily spotted?

– Was she running from somebody and tossed it and it just happened to land there?
– Was it a ‘spy dropoff’ of a pad filled with microfilm with pictures of some senatorial or governmental employee doing something they shouldn’t? (this is, of course, my favorite comedy option)
– Was it a slick move she made as her boyfriend was looking somewhere else while he was getting ready to do ‘the nasty dance’ with her amongst the flowers?

Or did somebody spot it on the ground, and delicately deposit it in amongst the flowers because they didn’t know what else to do with it? I mean, some of the flowers were white – it could’ve stayed hidden for quite some time, but I tend to have a very discerning eye for very distressing things, and this stood out like a leper at a nudist colony.

The myriad of possibilities simply have me buzzing.

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