:: Jhada Addams ::

This is the story that I hammered out in twenty minutes for the Iron Chef Erotica a la Carte panel at Balticon this weekend. It is unedited.

Lovingly, she gazed at the selection of vegetables before her. The cart was fairly overflowing with its bountiful harvest, but one particular item stood out among all others.

The artichoke. Peeling open to reveal a soft center, covered with a light feathering of fur that when consumed would choke. The very idea was almost scintillating. She loved the feeling of her throat convulsing and itching – so she’d throw the rest away, and go straight for the fur itself. Taking a healthy bite, she chewed, her eyes rolling back into her head as she felt her nipples harden as the fur tickled the back of her throat. A flush colored her skin as her throat closed; she tried desperately to swallow, but it was difficult to get the first bite down.

She felt a hand on her leg as she began to choke, her throat trembling around the fuzz as it tried to direct it to her stomach.

“God, that’s so fucking hot,” he purred, squeezing her thigh as the first few tears appeared at the edge of her eyes.

She took a second bite, her body shaking as the fur scratched the roof of her mouth. His hands slid back further, dipping into her own fur, finding the moist dew collected there. She groaned as his finger found her erotic center, shivering back against him as the combination of sensations drove her further towards her own unusual release.

“Take it all, baby. Take another fucking bite, for daddy.”

The third bite was distracting as she began finding it difficult to continue swallowing, the distraction between her legs making her tremble and cry out; her voice muffled around the avocado fur.

Tears trailed down her cheeks as he plucked one of the leaves from the vegetable itself, running it up along the length of her thigh. Groaning with pleasure, she began writhing in her seat as he brought the leaf itself against her clit, rubbing gently as he bit into her neck.

He rubbed harder, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to take another bit until she rocked over the edge.

“God, baby – fuck it. FUCK that greenery!”

With a loud cry, she rocked against the well placed leaf, her orgasm crashing into her like a runaway vegetable cart in an Amish market.

“MUURRHGHEREGHHEJ!” she screamed as he slid the leaf itself inside her.

“Turn around, bitch.” He growled, gripping her hips and pressing into her, using the leaf as nature’s diaphragm.

“God, I love fucking you when you’re choking.”

Her throat continued convulsing around the avocado fur as her hands slapped onto the kitchen counter, gripping it as he slammed fiercely into her.

“Oh…fuck…It’s…I’m…aaaa HOLLANDAISE SAUCE!” he screamed as he came, his hot load spattering against the leaf standing guardian to her precious life giving womb.

She screamed out again as she slammed over the edge, stamping her foot like a horse desperately trying to count out its own age.

“That was the hottest fucking thing ever, baby.” He murmured, kissing her shoulder softly.

“We should try endive next time.”

She nodded, slowly choking the rest of her discomfiting but highly sensual meal.